Parenting and Unconditional Love

What is unconditional love?  Most people think that unconditional love is to look at something you don’t like and to love it regardless of the feeling of not liking it.  Yes you can train yourself to do that but you are not loving unconditionally, you are trying to love a condition.  Well you don’t have to love the condition at all, to love unconditionally is to be able to look beyond the condition and to the potential that exists with out condition and love that.   In other words, it is what you focus on what it is with out condition that you love.

A friend came to me today saying that she didn’t like the way her daughter reacted to an interaction.   I don’t remember the details, other than it was travel arrangements getting to an airport that the mother was conveying to the daughter and the daughter wasn’t appreciating in her response because it wasn’t what she wanted to happen in her perfect journey.

In the mothers focus on what she didn’t like (the response) she wanted her daughter to change her response so that she (mother) could have an easier life.   This was interesting situation to me because I am close to both of them and empathising with the mother, my initial reaction was to chat it through with the daughter.   However, I did nothing straight away, because it wasn’t the daughter who was complaining to me it was the mother so in truth, it is the mother in this situation that needs the help and it is through her clarity that her daughter can learn her own.  After all this is what parenting is all about.  We know this intrinsically and most of us are doing it, but when it gets to the finer points of emotional interaction, may parents fall down and don’t know what to do because their children don’t respond the same way they do.

So what is really going on here in this mother daughter interaction that I want to point out?   It is the unique dynamic created out of the parent child relationship that is always calling the parent to fine tune and become aware of who they (the parent) really is because it is in that awareness they can find unconditional love for the child and be the teacher for the child that the child needs.  Any discord the parent is feeling regarding the child has this at its basis every single time and it is in this way children become the teachers.

This is why our children are so amazing and so important, because with out them we would not get the opportunity to be truly challenged into our alignment with ourselves.

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