We intrinsically know that relationships are important to us, yet we spend much time analysing them and not understanding them except with those that work out well for us. Relationships are the centre of our existence and without them we feel isolated and alone and most importantly – unloved.
So what are relationships and what do they mean to us really? Why do we have them and why is it without them we become lost? For some life would be so much easier without them and for others, they would sacrifice themselves in order to maintain a relationship. So in this chapter I will try to provide some balance and perspective to help you with those relationships that seem to struggle no matter what you do.
As mentioned before, your external environment is a reflection of you internal status. If you need to prove this to yourself on the subject of relationships you only need to a few days of awareness practise to start to see how you are constantly being matched with people who are reflecting your state by either being in the same state, aggravating your state or soothing it.
This is a universal law, so if you are finding that you are not able to recognise this then you need to go back to step one and just start with observing what is being reflected to you in your environment generally. Don’t deny it, just see it and accept it and once you become aware of the general reflection occurring you can then take the next step of observing specific encounters with other humans (it could be strangers or close family, literally anyone) and notice how they are a match to you in the way described above every time you encounter them.
Once you have started to be aware of this, you can now start to see that every meeting that you have there is an dynamic sharing that is taking place because not only are they reflecting you but you are reflecting them also. There are times when an interaction takes place that you wonder where the words you spoke even came from as they are not what you would normally say or you have expressed beliefs that you may not even have.
It is an interesting play of energy and it will serve you well to just be aware of this interaction of energy and enjoy the results that occur without trying to analyse them or question them, because what ever analysis you try to make of yourself or the other person initially may not be a true reflection of who you or they really are. By taken this time to simply observe and raise your awareness of this dynamic that occurs, you will find that your place of self acceptance will rise as will your ability to accept others unconditionally. You will find that you will spend less time concerned with what others are doing or thinking and will naturally become more aware of yourself and what you are feeling in those given situations.