Being sensitive to yourself is an on going process, it takes practise at first to develop the new way of being but once you have a handle on it, it becomes as natural as walking and the benefits are wide reaching in terms of your quality of life and your awareness/connection with Source. It is for this reason that this has thus far been the most talked about aspect.
Of course one of the main benefits to this is that you are effectively training yourself to respect your own needs and to love yourself. When you reach this place of respecting your own needs and loving yourself, you will automatically be respecting others and giving love where it is needed without even thinking about it but knowing it through the joy and appreciation that you feel and send out to the world and the joy and appreciation that it reflects back to you.
The following processes are offered to help you become more sensitive to you.
1 – Practising self awareness in the moment
At least 3 times a day, but ideally as often as possible, take a conscious note of how you are actually feeling not just in the emotional sense but also in the physical sense. You will not always be able to label the feeling, but knowing that there is something there that it is presented in a part of your body (eg. chest;stomach;face; legs; arms) and knowing if it is good for you or bad for you is enough. What you want is a calm relaxed feeling whilst you are going about your day. The benefits of practising this self awareness is the pause that occurs as you do this is like take taking a deep breath, but more than that you get the opportunity to change what you are feeling. Obviously you want to feel better than you do in any given moment. This is your chance to make it happen. This will also help you to practise making your well being a priority without impacting anyone around you. Often when we consider putting ourselves in front of others we perceive this as a selfish event. aka. taking for ourselves, to the detriment of others. This does not need to be the case as you can see.
2 – Simple changing what you feel
If you become aware that you are not feeling good in a given moment there is a very quick way to change that feeling. Let your awareness magnify the feeling so that it is the dominant event in your now experience and accept it. I find a little affirmation helps, for example: ‘Wow! I’m feeling really bored/restless/frustrated right now and that is ok I can be that right now. Infact, I invite this feeling and fully enjoy what that feeling inspires me to do’ Within minutes of the affirmation, you have moved on to feeling something different, more positive without any effort at all. Effectively just BE who you are in the moment. Whilst this all sounds very counter intuitive, then consider, if you don’t allow yourself to feel what you feel in a given moment, you are effectively holding onto the negative feeling/suppressing it, it doesn’t go, it just stays there nagging you in the background of your day tripping you up with bad traffic, broken plates, and snagged tights. Of course this is the swimming in the stream of emotions in your day to day life, again without impacting others around you, and as you do get better at this you will find that more and more of your day will become what you want it to be so that you can respond to it, instead of being a victim to it and only have time to react to it
3 – Being kind to yourself.
This is perhaps one of the things people find hardest and requires practise like all of the above to make it an automatic response to how you feel. Being kind to yourself is simple, in fact it requires no changes to your life at all if you don’t want it too. By internalising your religion this is where you internalise your practise of it, in effect becoming more spiritual and if you continue practising an existing religion, there is no conflict at all.
First identify you daily routine. These are the things that you do every day regardless of what is happening generally. This will include things such as, getting up in the morning; brushing teeth; drinking coffee or tea; eating; bathing or showering; going to bed; falling asleep. Once you have expanded your awareness of what you are doing everyday, make a conscious decision to use those moments as times where you are going to amplify your self awareness and make adjustments to what you are doing to make it more enjoyable. For example: I have in the past had problems with anxiety waking me up in the morning, so before I go to sleep I tell myself I am going to have an easy day tomorrow. The next morning when I wake up, my mind might start thinking about other things, but I bring it back to – ‘I’m going to have an easy day today’ When I think this I have a powerful feeling of what that ease feels like and it totally relaxes me. I then get out of bed with a feeling of ease for the day – if it is winter I reach for my slippers toasting on the radiator. What I am doing here is taking care of myself. I am showing myself the love and appreciation that I deserve by giving myself a routine at the beginning of the day that for a long time I have wanted someone else to give me, because I couldn’t give it to myself which leads to the next point
4 – Permission
You are allowed to take care of yourself in a conscious way and feel good about it. This is one of the hardest things most people find to do though because they have been trained out of being allowed to feel good about oneself by being told they should be humble. Almost all religions tell you that you must not feel too good about you rather you should be humble.
1. having or showing a modest or low estimate of one’s importance.
“I felt very humble when meeting her”
To be humble is to submit yourself to psychological slavery, the very modality that we live in today and trying so hard to ignore.
You are a powerful wonderful being in your own right and nobody has any right to tell you to be any different. You are wonderful and powerful because you are a unique manifestation of source energy. Not only are you wonderful, but everything you observe is a reflection of that wonder. So commit to your wonder now, give yourself permission to see it by seeing the wonder of this time space reality around you and allowing yourself to feel intrinsically within your being. Be aware in your everyday routine in those otherwise mundane moments and turn them into special moments for you because you are so much more that people have led you to believe and you are now going to start living it.
5 – Meditation
Meditation is so important that is has its own chapter. I mention it here though, because it is worth taking moments in your daily life to do it even if only for a minute. There are many different way to meditate and the points above are forms of meditation, in fact any action you take that involves focusing on you, your body and how you feel, can be counted as a meditation, because in those moments even if briefly you are in the present moment and it is in that present moment that you are most connected to your spiritual aspect. The better you get at all of this the better you feel generally.
6 – Your temple
Your temple is your space, therefore your optimum space to practise being spiritual is in your home. So look after your home like it is your church or your temple because it is a sacred space. After a busy day you go home to reconnect and appreciate yourself. It is likely the place that you will meditate. The place where you can treat yourself with care and attention. So lap it up and enjoy it. It is a miss conception in religion that the place of worship is outside of the place you eat sleep and do chores, that only once a week one takes time out to meditate in prayer somewhere else. It if for this reason Islam demands that everyday at regular times, time is taken for prayer, because it is so important to take time and space for one’s self focus.
The 6 practises above are all relevant, however, you can pick and choose as you wish. Being spiritual, is more about accepting your own spirituality than concerning yourself with the spirituality of others. You are not required to follow someone else’s path and they are not required to follow yours. You do it for you because you want to feel the best you can in your daily life and only you can influence what you feel, and most importantly only you know what is best for you. None of the suggestions above conflict with your everyday life or any of the people around you so they are easy to practise as you go through your daily life adding to it in an easy way rather than inhibitive
Don’t feel bad if it doesn’t all come to you straight away or feel guilty that you are letting yourself down. There is no such thing as guilt except that which you put on yourself. If you are finding it hard then there is a negative thought that you have about yourself that is stopping you. If you are deeply analytical then dive in and find it, but for most people we are not. So instead just feel good that you want to do all these positive things for yourself, that you are pointing in the direction of becoming more spiritual and know that when the time comes it will be easy for you to do.
It is important that you don’t force yourself to do anything that you are feeling resistance to. By forcing yourself you will find that the success if limited. Rather engage in conversation with people who are also connecting with themselves as they will more than likely help you with finding the answer you are looking for.
It is all a process. Some are on it already consciously, some are on it subconsciously, and some becoming aware right now with these words. The more people who are in conscious awareness the easier and better it will become. You are not alone, and you are encouraged to refer to spiritual teachers (past and/or present) to help you on this path to self awareness.